


Love Concurs Fear

by Bi_disaster_writer



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), S.W.A.T. (TV 2017)
Genre: 20 squad is supporitve, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Blood and Injury, Earthquakes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fear of Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Sappy gay shit, bi characters, biexual jim street, buck and street are in love, family parties at the grant-nash househole, hen and Eddie are little shits, hondo and street being father and son, please excuse the crappy title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29983158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bi_disaster_writer/pseuds/Bi_disaster_writer
Summary: Street trusts his team. He really does. But some things are just hard to tell them. Like the fact that he has a boyfriend.But when the team gets trapped in a collapsed building and said boyfriend is part of the rescue team, he doesn't really have much of a choice.
Relationships: Christina "Chris" Alonso & Jim Street, Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson & Jim Street, Dominic Luca & Jim Street, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & David "Deacon" Kay, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Jim Street, Jim Street & David "Deacon" Kay, Jim Street & Victor Tan
Comments: 10
Kudos: 175
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Love Concurs Fear

Street woke up with strong arms wrapped around him and warm breath against the back of his neck. He smiled. He and Buck had been dating for almost four months and he had never been happier. Despite the love and family he had found in his team, he never felt truly safe. There was always this fear off to the side that everything would be taken away. He already screwed up once before which resulted in him almost losing his family. But Buck was safe. He knew Streets fears and insecurities and loved him anyways. He allowed him to become more confident and trusting. Mostly. 

He still hadn’t actually told the team about his relationship. Or that he was bisexual at all. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them or think they wouldn’t accept him. Chris was also bi and they accepted her completely. It was just this lingering fear that things would be different for him. He didn’t have the best past experiences in this situation. When he was in the foster system the other boys would always throw around “gay” as some sort of insult and be aggressive to anyone who fit their stereotype of what gay was. Then there was the Harrison’s. 

They were nice to him. They bought him nice things, asked him about his day, helped him with his homework. They even bought him his first cell phone. They treated him like a member of their family. Mr. Harrison taught him how to shave. Mrs. Harrison helped him bake cookies for the school bake sale. He even thought they wanted to keep him. Until the day he came home and told them about the cute boy in his chemistry class. 

They didn’t say a lot about it at the time, but they became cold and distant after that. CPS showed up not even two weeks later. 

So yeah, he was a little apprehensive about telling the team. 

Luckily Buck understood, which just made Street fall for him even more. Buck didn’t have the best relationship with his parents either, and had experienced a similar hesitance to come out to his team. He was working up to it when they found out on their own, (when Street and Buck were found in a compromising position in the showers), but they just hugged him and made sure he knew they loved him. There may have been a few tears shed. 

The 118 had taken to Street very easily. Hen, Chim, and Eddie treated him like a little brother and Bobby like a son. Even Athena had adopted him into her family, hence the weekly dinner tradition was born. Street loved them and was glad to be a part of their family, but he wasn’t ready to come out to the squad yet and Buck didn’t push him. 

“You’re thinking too loud.”

“Sorry,” Street laughed lightly, as Buck nosed into his hair. 

“What are you thinking about?”

“How much I love and appreciate you.”

“You big ol’ sap,” Buck giggled, and placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder. “But I love you too.”

Street rolled over in Buck’s arms so he could look him in the eyes. “I’m serious. I really appreciate how patient you’re being with me. With telling my team about us.”

“Always,” Buck answered sweetly, kissing him. 

Street brought his hand up to stroke Buck’s cheek. “Maybe,” he whispered, “I can show you just how much I appreciate it.” He started trailing gentle kisses down his neck. 

“As much as I would enjoy that,” Buck said distractedly, “we both have a shift to get ready for.”

Street groaned. 

\---

Just because he hadn’t actually told the team yet, doesn’t mean they didn’t know something was going on. Luca had immediately brought it to the squad’s attention when Street didn’t come home the first night he spent at Buck’s. Luca and Tan had been bugging non-stop for details since, and Chris kept giving him knowing looks. Hondo and Deacon didn’t exactly join in on the teasing, but they seemed to be a little too amused by it for Street’s liking. 

Today it started as soon as he walked into the locker room. “You look happy,” Luca claimed. “Does this have anything to do with your new lady friend that you won’t admit exists?”

“Can’t I just be having a good day?”

“Normally yes,” Tan answered. “But not you. You’re always moody.”

“Hey!”

Luca cut in again. “Come on man, just tell us who she is!”

“At least tell us something about her.”

“Any detail! What colour is her hair?”

“Does she like motorcycles like you?”

“Or more importantly, why is she going out with you?”

Street interrupted Luca and Tan before they could go on. “I’m not telling you anything because there is nothing to tell.” 

“Alright guys,” Hondo called before they could start up again. “Hicks just texted, we got an armed robbery at the bank on Clemmons, suit up!”

\---

“Alright we got one armed suspect and eleven hostages. We move quickly and quietly and don’t risk civilian danger. Deacon, Tan, Luca, you guys take the front. Chris, Street, and I will take the back. Remember, keep on your toes and stay liquid!”

They split off into their teams and headed into the building. Hondo’s group had cleared the back room and were headed towards the area with the vaults when they saw a figure running for the exit.

“We got a rabbit!” Chris shouted, beginning the pursuit with Street and Hondo right behind her. “Heading towards the southwest exit!” 

Deacon’s voice came over the comms. “That exit is blocked by patrol officers. He’s not getting out that way.”

“He’s probably heading towards the exit, see if you guys can cut him off,” Hondo answered.

“Copy.”

The trio chased him around the corner, where they lost sight of him. “This is 20 David, we have lost the visual of the suspect. Does anyone have eyes on him?”

“Negative Hondo, he must have slipped past us.”

“Copy that,” Hondo sighed. “Reconvene in the basement.”

\---

The team met up again two minutes later. “Alright,” Hondo addressed them. “Every exit is covered, He’s got no way out. Meaning he is still somewhere in this building. There’s three upper floors so we’ll split into teams of two. Luca, you go with-” He was cut off by a low rumbling sound as the floor began to tremble slightly. 

“What the hell is that?”

“Did he set off an explosive?”

“No, it’s an earthquake!”

“Everybody down! Cover your heads!”

The team ducked for cover as the ceiling started to fall around them. 

\---

The first thing that Street noticed when everything stopped shaking was pain. His head hurt, his ribs ached, and his leg- his leg felt like it was on fire. He tried moving it to assess the damage, but only succeeded in making the pain worse. He only just stopped himself from crying out. The last thing he needed was to embarrass himself in front of his team. 

His team. 

He began looking around hoping to see somebody, anybody. A little bit of his panic was squashed when he saw Luca pushing himself to his feet. “Luca!”

“Hey man, you alright?”

“Um…”

Before Luca could answer they heard a groan and saw Tan using the wall to pull himself up. They watched as he reached down to give Deacon a hand up. On the other side of the basement Hondo was helping Chris balance on what looked like a sprained ankle. 

“Is everyone alright?” Hondo asked?

“I’m good, just a few bruises,” Luca said.

“Me too,” Deacon called. 

“Same here, I may have a few bruised ribs though,” Tan announced.

“Street?”

“I think I’m pinned, I can’t move my leg.”

The team came over to him and Deacon bent near his leg to assess the damage. “It looks like a piece of the ceiling landed on you.”

Luca went over to get a good look. “Dude this thing is huge! Your leg isn’t just pinned, it’s crushed!” Oh. That explained the excruciating pain. Street put his head back and closed his eyes. Of course this happened to him.

He felt a warm hand on the side of his neck. “Hey kid,” Hondo said gently. “You with us?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” he answered. 

“Okay, we’re going to try to lift this thing off of you. It may hurt a bit.” The team gathered around, each getting a hand under the piece of concrete. “On three. One, two, three!” 

They were only able to lift it a few inches before lowering it back down. This time Street was not able to choke down the pained noise. 

“Street? Hey kid it’s ok.” 

Street took a breath. “I’m good, I’m ok.”

The team was skeptical. “You sure?” Deacon asked. 

“We can’t lift this,” Hondo interrupted. “We’re going to have to call Fire and Rescue. Deacon, you and Luca search the area for our robber, we need to make sure it’s safe for the firefighters to come in here.”

\---

Buck walked into the fire station in a giant smile on his face. There’s nothing like waking up in the arms of your boyfriend and sharing a quiet breakfast together before spending the day saving lives. Not even the teasing from his crewmates could dampen his mood. He walked into the locker room where Eddie and Hen were talking about setting up a playdate for Denny and Christopher to change into his uniform. 

He heard Hen whistle behind him when he took off his shirt. “Well, it looks like someone had a good night.”

Buck followed Hen’s gaze to his chest where a trail of hickeys was leading from his collarbone to the top of his waistband. He blushed as he remembered the activities from the night before that put them there. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Aw look, he’s blushing,” Hen teased.

“What’s the matter Buck?” Eddie asked, grinning. “You’ve never been embarrassed about sharing your sex life before.” 

“That’s because he wasn’t in love then.”

“Guys!” Buck whined. The two laughed at Buck’s pout. 

The teasing was cut short by a rumbling noise as the ground began to shake slightly. 

“What is that?” Hen asked. “Another earthquake?”

Eddie answered, “not a very big one, I’d say a two, maybe a three?”

They stayed put until the shaking ended, then walked out of the locker room to check on the rest of the firehouse. Everyone was on their feet, and the worst of the damage was a few bottles that had fallen off the shelf. 

Bobby walked down the stairs. “Ok everyone, just because the shocks were small here, doesn’t mean they were everywhere else. Get ready to head out.” On that note, the alarms started blaring. “Alright guys, gear up!”

\---  
It only took about ten minutes for Luca and Deacon to return from their search. They found the suspect under the rubble with blood covering his face and his eyes closed. There was no pulse. At least they didn’t have to worry about keeping an eye on him on top of everything else.  
The team startled when their radios went off. “20 David, this is 727-L30, can you hear me?”  
Hondo answered, “Copy that 727-L30.”  
“We have Fire and Rescue here ready to go, but we need confirmation that they’re clear for entry.”  
“Affirmative, suspect is down and Fire and Rescue is clear for a safe entry.” Hondo glanced down at Street and saw the pained look that the younger man was trying to hide. “Please hurry.”

\---  
On the other side of the rubble, the 118 was preparing to enter the building. Luckily, other than in the basement the structural damage wasn’t too severe so it would be a simple in-and-out. Buck and Eddie took the lead to take care of any debris blocking their path while also looking out for any civilians trapped in the rubble. Since they were heading straight to the basement it was unlikely that they would see anybody else. Hen and Chim were in the middle while Bobby took up the rear.  
They moved quickly and efficiently through the building. They had been searching for 20 minutes when Buck heard voices. It sounded like someone was in pain and someone else was trying to sooth them. “Just breath, Street. You’re gonna be ok kid.”  
Wait, Street? Oh no.  
Hearing his boyfriend’s name sent a jolt of panic through Buck and he started moving faster. “Buck hold on!” he heard Bobby call. But he ignored him in favour of getting to Street.  
“ Jim! Jim I’m here!” he called. He moved one last piece of debris out of the way and was finally able to reach him. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. Jim was lying in the middle of the room with who Buck assumed was his team surrounding him. Now he may never have met Street’s team, but he talked about them enough that Buck could figure out who was who. His head was lying in Hondo’s lap while Chris was gently wiping the blood away from his face with her sleeve. Deacon and Tan were at his legs trying to stop the flow of blood that was slowly creating a puddle around him. All in all, it looked bad.  
The S.W.A.T. team looked up as he came in but he was frozen in shock. All he could focus on was the piece of ceiling pinning down his boyfriend’s leg. Crushing it. Just like when Buck was pinned under the firetruck…  
“Buck.” He looked up when he heard Jim gently call his name. “It’s ok. It’s not that bad.”  
Buck chuckled wetly. “You’re the one trapped by a piece of ceiling. I should be comforting you,” he said as he approached him.  
He was so caught up in seeing Street that he forgot his crew was right behind him until he heard them gasp.  
“Jim!” Hen exclaimed before her and Chim went up to check his vitals. “Hey hunny, how are you doing?” she asked as she took his pulse.  
“Oh, I’m doing great. You know, besides the piece of concrete crushing my leg.”  
The rest of the 20 Squad looked on in confusion. The man supporting Street’s head was the one to speak up. “Kid you know these people?”  
The question seemed to draw Street back to reality. Buck and the 118 looked on somewhat awkwardly. They knew Street was struggling with the decision to come out to his teammates, but it seemed like he didn’t have much of a choice anymore. “Um, well,” Street began awkwardly. He was shaking slightly and Buck knew it wasn’t just from the bloodloss. The man who had asked the question, who Buck assumed was Hondo based on the way Street would usually talk about him, gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “This isn’t exactly how I thought we’d be doing this but, guys, meet my boyfriend. This is Buck, and his firecrew.”  
The team all gave Street supportive smiles and Deacon said “nice to meet you guys.”  
It was Bobby that broke up the tension. “Alright, we can finish the introductions later. Right now we need to focus on getting Jim out of here in one piece. Eddie, you and Buck use the jaws to get the piece of ceiling off of him while Chim gets a splint ready to stop the bleeding. Hen and I will keep an eye on his vitals.”  
The 118 worked quickly to free Street from the debris while trying not to focus on the fact that it was their friend that was trapped. It was made more difficult by the sounds of pain that Street wasn’t able to stop. After all this time trying to stay strong in front of his team, he was too tired to continue the act. Every sound he made broke Buck’s heart a little more. He couldn’t help but think back to when he himself had been pinned. He still remembered all the fear and pain he had felt that night, and desperately wished that Jim didn’t have to go through the same thing.  
They finally got the piece of ceiling off and Chimney instantly moved in to apply the splint to his upper thigh while Eddie attached a brace to the crushed limb. Hen deemed his vitals stable enough and they carefully lifted him onto the backboard. Eddie and Bobby carried him out while Hen and Chim attended to the minor injuries of the rest of the team.  
The 20 squad exited the building right as Street was being loaded into the ambulance. Buck went up to the dark-skinned officer. “Hey, you’re Hondo, right?”  
“Yeah that’s me. Nice to meet you. Sorry it was under such circumstances.”  
“Yeah, this was definitely not the way Jim wanted to introduce us.” Buck shook his head and laughed slightly. “Listen, I think you should ride in the ambulance with him.” Buck desperately wanted to ride with his boyfriend, but he also knew what he needed. Street may not want to admit it, but he saw Hondo as a father-figure. And after what he just went through he knew Street desperately needed that parental comfort. Even if he wasn’t willing to ask for it.  
“You sure? You can ride with him, it seems like you two are pretty close.”  
“Trust me, he wants you. Even if he won’t admit it.”  
Hondo nodded while trying to hide a look of pride. He patted Buck on the shoulder and headed over to jump in the ambulance. Deacon came up to him as Hondo left. “Hey, Buck right?”  
“Yeah, hi.” It wasn’t his best greeting, but in Buck’s defense he was a little distracted.  
Deacon seemed to understand. “Listen, we’re going to meet Street at the hospital. Would you like to come with us?”  
Yes. “I appreciate it, but I’m still on the clock. There’s more people that need rescuing, you know?”  
“No problem. Hey, why don’t you give me your number, I can pass along any updates on Street.”  
Buck looked up, surprised that a complete stranger would do that for him. “That, that would be great, thank you.” He gave his number to Deacon before Bobby was calling him back to the truck to head over to another emergency.  
\---  
Street knew his injury was pretty serious if both Hen and Chim were in the back of the ambulance with him. But he trusted them to take care of him until they got to the hospital. What surprised him was when Hondo had gotten into the ambulance too. All he could think about was that he knew. They all knew. Hondo seemed to sense his growing panic because grabbed onto his hand.  
Hondo leaned down and looked him in the eye. “Hey kid, it’s ok. Everything’s ok.” He knew Hondo wasn’t talking about his injury. “We are your family. No matter what.”  
Street couldn’t stop the strangled sob that came out. After all the pain, fear, exhaustion, and now the overwhelming relief at being accepted by his family, he couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer. As the first tears began to fall down his cheeks, Hondo gently pulled him into his arms so his head was resting against his chest and Hondo was supporting his weight.  
Hondo ran his fingers through his hair soothingly as he whispered muttered reassurances over and over. At the back of his mind Street recognized that Hen and Chim were still in the ambulance with them, but all was forgotten as he cried out all of the pain and rejection from the past. The whole time Hondo never wavered as he held Street together.  
\---  
When Street woke up the first thing he noticed was the heavy smell of antiseptic. He managed to slowly open his eyes and look around the room. He saw Chris sitting in the chair beside his bed on her phone. “Hey,” he called.  
She looked up in surprise. “Hey,” she said gently. “How are you feeling?”  
“I’m ok, my leg aches a bit. But it’s not too bad so I’m assuming they have me on some painkillers?” He grinned.  
Chris laughed lightly. “Yeah just a bit.”  
“So how bad is it?”  
Chris smiled reassuringly. “Not bad at all. They gave you an x-ray and it turns out your leg wasn’t crushed, just broken in a few places. They said you might need another surgery if it doesn’t heal right, but you should be back to full duty in just a couple of months.”  
Street let out a sigh of relief. Things could have been a lot worse. He could have lost S.W.A.T. again. He chatted with Chris for another few minutes before they were interrupted by a knock at the door. He looked up to see Buck standing in the doorway. “Hey.”  
“Hey,” Street smiled. He looked over at Chris. “Would you mind giving us a couple minutes?”  
She smirked at him. “Of course.” she headed towards the door but stopped for a second before leaving. She turned to Buck. “But afterwards, you and I are going to have a conversation about what’s going to happen if you ever hurt my best friend.” She smirked again at Buck’s obvious look of fear.  
Buck looked to Street for help. “Hey don’t look at me,” he laughed. “I got that same talk from Eddie and you did nothing.”  
Buck came over to sit on the side of Street’s bed as Chris left the room. He took Street’s hand. Tears came to his eyes as he struggled to say something. Street squeezed his hand in encouragement. “I almost lost you today,” he breathed out. “I don’t know what I would have done, if, if you had-”  
Street cut him off. “But I didn’t. I’m right here. We’re both here and we’re both ok.” He looked at Buck with love and understanding in his eyes. “I know you have had issues in the past with people leaving you, but I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me Babe.”  
Buck let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob. “I love you,” he said as he leaned down to kiss Street.  
“I love you too,” Street said once they parted.  
They sat with their foreheads pressed together, just soaking up comfort from each other, until Buck leaned back. “I think we need to let everyone else in here before they go crazy.”  
“Ok.”  
\---  
A week later Street was out of the hospital and healing at home. Well, at Buck’s. Which was beginning to feel more and more like home. Right now Buck was packing up the potato dish he made for their weekly dinner at the Grant-Nash household. It was their first family dinner since the earthquake and Street was eager to do something that wasn’t lying around the apartment all day.  
In fact, he was so excited that he didn’t notice all the other cars parked on the side of the road. Buck helped him to the front door where Athena was waiting for them. “Come on boys, everyone’s waiting for you.”  
“Everyone?” Street questioned. He walked into the house to see not just Bobby and the kids, but the entirety of the 118 including Maddie, Karen, Carla, and Christopher, as well as his own team. “What’s going on?”  
“What does it look like?” Athena teased him. “It’s a party! What better way for our families to get to know each other?”  
Buck and Athena helped him down the stairs as Christopher came rushing towards him. “Uncle Jimmy!”  
“Hey buddy!”  
“Daddy said you’re gonna have crutches like me for a little while.”  
Street laughed fondly. “Yeah I am. I’m not very good with them yet though.”  
“Don’t worry, I can help you!”  
As the night went on, Street couldn’t help but watch on fondly. While it might have been terrifying to come out to his team, seeing his two families get along was worth it. Buck came over and sat next to him on the couch. He put his arm around Jim and pulled him into his side.  
“Whatcha thinking about Babe?”  
Street smiled. “How much I love all of you.”


End file.
